Kerry Gordon Ph.D., Clinical Member OSP

Four Important Questions About Psychotherapy

When prospective clients first meet with me to decide whether or not they want to begin psychotherapy, they will at some point invariably ask four questions:

What do you do? How will it help me? How long will it take? And what will it cost?

These are what I call the "cut-to-the-chase" questions and if you are considering psychotherapy they're probably on your mind too. It is my hope that in addressing these questions I can help you decide whether doing psychotherapy is the right choice for you.

What do you do?

As a psychotherapist my role is to help clients' address the dis-ease they are experiencing in their life through a therapeutic process of transformative change. Transformative change is what differentiates psychotherapy from mere problem solving because it means peeling back the layers of acquired beliefs, assumptions and expectations - who we imagine we are or feel we ought to be - in order to get to the authentic core of who we really are. Through self reflection we begin to see through those habitual patterns of belief which shape our behavior, and discover that we have, after all, the power to determine how our life and relationships unfold. Psychotherapeutic healing begins with the same understanding embraced by the ancient Greeks - "Know thyself." Regardless of the technique, at the heart of any effective therapeutic approach is relationship. The relationship between therapist and client acts as the container in which the therapeutic process unfolds. My focus as a therapist is to ensure that the therapeutic relationship is maintained in an atmosphere of caring, trust and respect.

How will it help me?

Most of the unhappiness and anxiety that we experience in our lives is due to the habitual patterns of belief that we have adopted over our lifetime. These patterns of belief make it seem as though our life is happening to us, that we are powerless victims of the circumstances in which we find ourselves. However, in the course of therapy as we become of aware of these habitual patterns we begin to discover that we have choice and that ultimately if we are willing to take responsibility for our choices we can actually have the freedom that we have been searching for. By giving us the opportunity to practice awareness, choice and responsibility both the therapist and the therapeutic process empowers us to become the author rather than a mere character in our life story.

How long will it take?

Transformative change, which is at the heart of the psychotherapeutic process, is not simply about changing behavior. Rather it is about a fundamental shift in the way we experience ourselves and our relationships in the world. Therefore while transformative change involves insight - becoming aware of who we are - it is perhaps more importantly about commitment and practice - using those insights to make different choices and experience a new way of being in our life.

For this reason a successful outcome in psychotherapy takes time. First there is the time it takes to become aware of the habitual patterns that shape our life. Then, with that awareness it takes time to accept that we can choose to let go of those old patterns. And finally it takes time because its not just about letting go of old patterns but creating new ones shaped by awareness and choice.

There is no formula for how long therapy will take, it is different for everybody. To a large degree it depends upon the depth of a client's dis-ease and what they consider to be a desired outcome. This is of course discussed at the outset of the therapy process. But that being said, it would be unrealistic to imagine that real transformative change can be accomplished in a matter of only a few sessions.

What will it cost?

The important consideration is not really cost but value. If engaging in a transformative change process feels of little value then, given the time and effort involved, even if therapy were free it would be too much. However if we believe that engaging in a psychotherapeutic process can actually help us transform our dis-ease into well being then having seen the value, cost becomes less of a concern.

But we also have to understand that psychotherapy isn't something that happens to us. It requires our active participation. That's why when I meet with prospective new clients, even before we talk about the price, I ask them to consider a very basic question - how committed are they to a process of change? Because psychotherapy is not like going to spa or taking a rest cure, it isn't just about showing up for sessions. Psychotherapy requires real commitment and effort if there are to be positive results. I can help my clients maintain their commitment but the effort has to come from them. If a person sees that the psychotherapeutic process has value for them and is willing to make a real commitment to that process, then I can work with that person to help make it happen. Because, at that point, it's not about cost, it's about value.

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